First off, fuck Johnson county.

I’ve got a few things that piss me off about Johnson county. I swear they are the most anti-Hawkeye part of Iowa City, hell all of eastern Iowa. For starters, I’m sure a few of you have spent a night or two (or seven, in my case) in the Johnson county jail. The University of Iowa brings us all this love and fun in getting wasted and celebrating the greatness of our Hawkeyes, but the Johnson county and Iowa City police are the biggest buzz killers of all time. You get wasted at 4 bucks a drink at some bar, find yourself some bitch you plan on taking home… but NO! The biggest cock block of all time shows up, tells you that you’re drunk and you’re spending the night with them in jail instead. That’s horse shit. Any fighting, causing trouble, just being drunk and having fun… bam, drunk tank for you. Bitches.

Second, they want to build a road right through our Great Leader, Kirk Ferentz’s property. What the fuck is that? Kirk and his wife both have been very public about how much they love their property and how its been just one part of the reason that they have stayed here after receiving many offers to coach elsewhere and in the NFL. Mary Ferentz has publicly stated that they will move if that road gets built. She didn’t didn’t say out of the university, but I’m sure that will leave much more of an option for Kirk to go elsewhere. This state doesn’t have a lot going for it, and Iowa Hawkeye football is one thing we do have. Face it, we fuckin rock at football. To drive out the main reason we have risen to a National Power is just horse shit. I urge all of you Hawk fans to let these Johnson county officials know how you feel.

Last and most recently, Iowa Hawkeye cornerback Antwan Allen was found guilty of assault. Some Iowa State nobody was running at him, obviously wanting to engage Allen, and all Allen did was punch him in the face. That shit happens to people who are running at a person in a violent way. Not to mention this fuck is a Cyclone and was partying in our promised land, Iowa City. We won’t talk about how the force of Antwan’s mighty Hawkeye fist crushed his jaw and he had to have it wired shut and eat from a straw for 6 weeks. That shit happens when you fuck with the Hawks.

So fuck Johnson county for showing sympathy to a Cyclone reject and not to a football star who has poured out his blood sweat and tears starting all 38 games since he became a Hawkeye.