Week Four 10-4

Posted by Colestal on September 23rd, 2005

We have finally completed the 10-4 for Week 4. “Where the hell is the Week 3 10-4?” is a question you may have right now. The answer is that we suspended our judgement for the week after losing to Iowa State.

Here is Andyram’s response:
“I don’t think I’ve stopped drinking Coronas since Saturday night [in Ames]. I’ve sobered up for a few hours and figured it was time to get out this week’s Hawkize.com weekly 10-4. You will notice that Iowa and ISU haven’t moved from thier spots, and they wont. So fuck off.”

After our solid recovery against UNI and a bye week spent gloating by ISU fans, we sat down and figured things out. Here we go…

Top Ten

1. Iowa
No surprise here. The Hawks are still number one. They managed to pound out 3 points with no end zone and a ball on fire (see “By Popular Demand: A List of Excuses”). I don’t think there is a team out there that can do that. Let’s just give mad props to Kyle.

How can Iowa possibly still be #1 after a loss? Five reasons:
1. Chad Greenway
2. Abdul Hodge
3. Drew Tate
4. This is our poll, and we do what we want.
5. It’s still early, and the Hawks still kick ass. We’re not going to penalize Iowa for an early loss when there is not much doubt that we will win out and finish the regular season 10-1.

2. Ohio State
Michigan’s loss to Notre Dame cost them the #2 spot this week. Ohio State did lose to a team we would rather not mention, but ranking them #2 makes for a solid #1 vs. #2 match up this week in Columbus. If I were Jim Tressel, I would probably hang myself because that would be less embarrassing than Saturday when Hodge and Greenway destroy him, the rest of his team, and his family.

Luckily, I’m not Jim Tressel, so I offer this advice to him: Withhold Ginn and Holmes from the game on Saturday. They’re too young and too good to feel the imminent pain that the Hawkeye D is bringing to Columbus. Save them for the NFL.

3. Purdue
A solid win over Mike Stoops’ Arizona team puts Purdue at #3 this week. Kyle Orton also contributed to this ranking by tearing up Detroit on Sunday. We’ll see what Purdue is made of this week against Laurence Maroney.

4. Laurence Maroney
It’s not Minnesota anymore. From now on, their team is known as Laurence Maroney. 481 yards and 6 TDs in parts of three games is enough to earn the title of “one man team”. Look for Maroney to move up in the rankings next week after single handedly beating Purdue.

5. Michigan
Michigan hasn’t really looked yet this year. Braylon Edwards has… too bad he’s wearing a hideous looking Browns jersey now. Chad Henne is lost without this freak of nature running routes for him, and things don’t get any easier now that they are starting the Big Ten schedule.

6. USC
USC is holding steady at #6 after rolling Hawaii and Arkansas. It doesn’t hurt that they have what would have been the #1 draft pick in last year’s NFL draft starting at QB for them. Hell, they could probably beat the 49ers. But they’re not a Big Ten school, so it’s going to take some work to convince us that they need to be ranked higher.

7. LSU
Can this team catch a break? They can’t even play a home game away from home on time because of these damn hurricanes. I’m sure this team is mad as hell, and they are going to make Tennessee pay for it on Monday.

8. Wisconsin
Brian Calhoun needed a Hayden Fry disciple to teach him how to be a man, and he has been just that for Wisconsin this year. Michigan’s D is on shaky ground right now, and Calhoun may make a case for being half the man Albert Young is this week against the Wolverines.

9. Georgia
Georgia has done nothing but pummel people this year, and they are holding tight at #9 this week. We’ll see what they’re made of against Tennessee in a few weeks.

10. Louisville
Louisville deserves this honor because they are coached by former Big Ten (Michigan State) coach John L. Smith. This team would die in the Big Ten, but they’re tearing through the Big East like they’re playing a bunch of high school teams.

Bottom Four

1. Iowa State
A few reasons, in detail:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5

2. Oklahoma
Ouch. 1-2 is not the start they were looking for. This really shouldn’t be surprising. Their meltdown started at the end of last season and carried over to this year. It’s time for Bob Stoops to move on to a Big Ten program and never look back.

3. Ball State
There aren’t adjectives to describe how bad this football team is. They’re a .500 team in most high school conferences.

4. Pittsburgh
Why they hired Dave Wannstedt is beyond me. One thing Wannstedt has done consistently throughout his career is take good teams and make them awful teams before getting fired. What’s worse is that Pitt is his alma mator. You would think that an alum would have some pride, but no. I didn’t think the program would decline this quickly, though. It seems as if he has carried over his momentum (or lack thereof) from the Dolphins last year straight to Pittsburgh this year. Wannstedt is as bad as it gets.

So there it is. We’ll put Week 3 behind us and watch as Iowa and Iowa State progress along very different paths… Iowa to the Big Ten title, and Iowa State to another season of mediocrity and disappointment. GO HAWKS!


1056 Responses to “Week Four 10-4”  

  1. 1 Σ

    I’m about to turn on the ISU v. Army game… I’m in Lames right now, and I just saw five clowns sitting out in front of their apt. sitting on a piece of shit couch they drug out of their lovely apt, along with a nice 14′ tv to watch it on… I also think I saw one of them with a big red nose and a horn to honk when they score. I doubt I hear a whole lot of it.

  2. 2 danran

    ISU SUCKS!! (yes i know i will get alot of”how original” comments, but i don’t care ISU SUCKS!!

  3. 3 Herbie

    They did win though.

  4. 4 Σ

    Yeah… but they should have beat the fuck out of them… Army won in my opinion, maybe not according to the score, but they definately out played ISU.

  5. 5 Herbie

    I’m not gonna lie they did out play them but a win’s a win. We’ll take it anyway we can get one.

  6. 6 Mizzike

    Would you blow me off for a win ISU fags?

  7. 7 Herbie

    I bet there is someone from Iowa asking if they can blow someone so they can get another win.

  8. 8 Σ

    If there is, they probably transfered from Iowa State.

  9. 9 Herbie

    ooo good one. retard.

  10. 10 Σ

    The ‘ooo’ leads me to believe that you know ALL about smiling like a dounut… fucking fagot.

  11. 11 Greg

    FUCK IOWA SHIT, ISU KICKS EVERYONES ASSES.

    PS 3-0 compared to a 2-2 SUCK ON A HARD DICK

  12. 12 Jaime

    Dang Herbie, you are one huge gaywad thats all

  13. 13 Jaime

    dang greg, you are way freakin’ gayer than herbie even

  14. 14 Jaime

    geez greg, you are way freakin’ gayer than herbie even

  15. 15 Jaime

    if greg was gayer, he would be a gay

  16. 16 Herbie

    Drake has no sports to boast about.

  17. 17 Jaime

    hey greg, whats it like being gay/(liking isu?)

  18. 18 Jaime

    pppfffffpppp you don’t know i’m from drake

  19. 19 Herbie

    Whatev it was just a guess, because people from there dont like ISU because they are better than them. And for some reason i dont think you’re from Iowa.

  20. 20 .

    wow. Intelligent conversation we have going here.

  21. 21 .

    Oh and almost losing to freaking Army does not constitute an ass-kicking, Greg.

  22. 22 The Other Drew Tate

    Well hold on here i think if ISU wins against Nebraksa this weekend they get some respect…haha just kidding, they always have been and always will be the CyClowns. Go Huskers, help us shut these ignorant dumbasses up!

  23. 23 .

    A quote from the Des Moines Sunday Register College Guide- “ISU student Nathan Willis, 19, of Omaha, Neb., had stuffed Care Bears snuggled up on his desk.”

  24. 24 Herbie

    Thats what you get from people that are from Nebraska.

  25. 25 Herbie

    University of Iowa student Pat from Davenport, Ia will most likely rub your ear if he’s bored.

  26. 26 Σ

    Don’t you have a dick to be sucking?

  27. 27 Herbie

    No, but you could always suck mine. Bitch.

  28. 28 Σ

    Is that a request?

  29. 29 Herbie

    If you want to I’m ok with it. Just tell me where.

  30. 30 Σ

    Are you a student at ISU?

  31. 31 Herbie

    Nope. Iowa.

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