I will not stand for..

Posted by Andyram on November 10th, 2005

OK, we lost to ISU in football, the retards squeak a game out of us every now and then and we move on, usually to bigger and better things. Iowa State doesn’t have a clue what national attention is and they probably never will. Anyway that is not the point of this article. Some fuck made a comment about ISU being a better party school then Iowa, and that is what brings me here.

When we started this site, I never would have imagined having to write this article, but here I am. There are folks out there claiming ISU can party better than Iowa. These folks need a wake up call.

My encounters in Lames
I have been to a couple parties in Ames before, yes I know, it is sad but true. One of them was at a frat house and there was puke all over the floor, everybody was drinking Keystone Light or something shitty along those lines and I swear to God at least every other room was packed with like 6 guys playing Xbox or PS2. This party was suppose to some huge thing on campus by the way. I will admit it, there was quite a bit of people there. A lot of guys, the type that smelled like they have showered in a week and tried to be cool by growing grizzly beards. The girls, either unattractive or in high school. I don’t know what it is about ISU but if one of those guys manage to have a girlfriend she is more than likely still in High School.

The bars in Ames, the only place where you can find quarter draws. That shit is cheaper then before Prohibition. Why you ask? A little phrase called Supply and Demand. To get people to go to that crummy bar, they have to let them get drunk off of 3 bucks. Why does it cost 6 bucks for a Vodka/Red Bull in Iowa City? Supply and demand. There is going to be people partying downtown in Iowa City every night, no matter what. So therefore then can do that.

Where is the liquor?
Iowa State is definitely stuck on this cheap beer binge and I cant quite figure out why.. If you are lucky to catch someone from Lames drinking liquor its no doubt an 8 dollar bottle of Vodka mixed with some Maple Syrup or some shit. I tend to prefer drinking Tequila or Gin in Margaritas or Martinis.

To be honest, personally, I have had more fun in Johnson County Jail in Iowa City then at a party in Lames.

A little take on Iowa City.
I don’t mind spending the extra 40 bucks at a bar in Iowa City to get drunk and find myself under the bedsheets of some fine ass bitch then driving home from Lames pissed off at what a wasted night. You roll into a party at Iowa and the least classy drink you will ever find is Coors light or Bud light but you always find yourself some nice hard liquor. You wont find that Miller High Life shit or Natty Ice.

The booze and the women at Iowa State are both cheap and nasty. The booze and women at the U of I are both fine and smooth. You might have to spend a few extra bucks for the Gin n Tonic but damn, it pays off.

Tailgating
A few ISU fans have brought to my attention claiming ISU has better tailgating? What the fuck? Alright, Ive been arrested in Ames tailgating before and there was a bigger party in the police car. I will hand it to ISU, when Iowa comes to town its not that bad. That’s only due to the fact there are 60 thousand Hawkeye fans there. This year for the game, Colestal and myself had a huge cooler full of Coronas and a lot of Cyclones tried to make fun of us for having “expensive” beer. Iowa State has serious issues when it comes to partying and drinking. Tailgating in Iowa City is probably more than twice as many people then in Lames. Simply, it is just a bigger, better party in Iowa City.

Did anyone else catch how ISU cut the prices for of the tickets for the Colorado game down to 10 bucks? That is the whole supply and demand thing working again. I think Ive paid more than that to get in the high school championship games in the dome a few years back. ISU is just pathetic. Lets also point out that Jack (off) Trice holds 25,000 less people then Kinnick. You cant even fill one of the smallest D-1 stadiums out there? What? Is everybody drunk off their ass from a twelve pack of Natty Ice?

That comment about the Playboys Top 25 Party schools. Absurd, Playboy has randomly done those rankings twice and they are not very accurate. The Princeton Review who does these rankings annually and have much more time to perfect their rankings throughout the year has Iowa at Number 8 in the Party Schools, 7th in Liquor and 8th in Beer. Iowa State is not ranked in any of those.

My Challenge
Anyway, I have decided to challenge any Iowa State Cyclone or ISU fan in a drinking competition. I was thinking first to either finish a fifth of Gin or Tequila. I would also even settle for 24 beers, Corona of course. I also had another idea, more team oriented. We have any amount of people you wish, for example. We have a person from each side drinking Gin, a person drinking 24 beers, a person Whiskey a person Rum. You get the picture. First team done wins. I will even let you guys choose the drinks. Mixers are welcome, but all that matters is the alcoholic drink. As long as it contains only 1 beer drinker, the rest are different drinks of liquor.

There you go, you have my challenge if any of you cyclowns are interested or want more information send me an email at andrew.s.hartman@us.army.mil

On Iowa
Go Hawks!


25 Responses to “I will not stand for..”  

  1. 1 Imposter "."

    “We’ll take two close losses over a convincing home loss to Baylor any day. ”

    Hate to break it to you, but ISU lost to Baylor by LESS than both of Iowa’s losses. Your statement is both untrue and retarded. Must be that community college education you’re getting.

  2. 2 Arch

    hartman you were also more likely to get ass raped at the isu fraternity than in johnson county jail

  3. 3 Andyram

    “.” For one, that comment has nothing to do with this post. Second, ISU lost to Baylor 23-13, and we were referring to the losses to Michigan by 3 and Northwestern by 1 which is 4. You see, 3 plus 1 equals 4. Yah, it is kinda hard, took my a while to figure that one out too. Hang in there, you will catch up to that first grade math one of these days!

  4. 4 Colestal

    It never fails. Some of the things that are said on here by ISU fans are remarkably stupid. That means stupid from an objective standpoint too–things like not getting their facts straight or just being blatantly wrong. Also, FYI, I made that comment, and I go to the University of Iowa. Literally everything about that statement was incorrect.

  5. 5 .

    WHY THE FUCK IS SOMEONE USING MY “.” that was not me.

  6. 6 .

    thank you.

  7. 7 everyard4ISU

    dude…you went to a frat party, no wonder you hate Ames. If my only encounter with Ames was a frat party, I would have run for Iowa City a long time ago. I would rather get drunk with Hawkeye fans in Iowa City, than with frat guys in Ames. Frat guys are the absolute pond scum. thats all there is to it

  8. 8 leo

    by the way…there is a kid in Ames who could drink andyram and colestal under the table combined. I AM NOT TRYING TO FLAME, it has nothing to do with the school, but the kid is a phenom. He’s about 5′7″, 140lbs, and last winter at University of Okoboji winter games, the kid put down a 1/5th of jack in one pull, John Belushi style. He had been drinking for 4 hrs previous to this, and he kept drinking afterwards. Last year in Iowa City, at the Iowa/ISU game, he filled up the Flowmaster (our gigantic beer bong) and raced your finest. He slaughtered U of I’s alchy’s left and right. No one could touch the kid. It got to the point where he was filling up both spouts and doing them back to back. Chad 1, Iowa 0

  9. 9 BigHawk

    I am going to have to call bullshit on that one.

  10. 10 what the hell

    what the hell

  11. 11 Ridiculous Nicholas

    140 lbs and he drank a bottle of jack after drinking for 4 hours? ha yah right

  12. 12 >>>

    Let me get this straight….

    You think Corona is good beer?

    No wonder you think Iowa City is so great. Corona is piss poor Mexican beer, and Iowa City is a piss poor town.

  13. 13 what the hell

    haha

  14. 14 Colestal

    That’s understandable coming from someone who’s probably grown up on Natty Ice. Hell, Larry Eustachy drank it and he made over $500k/year. You’re missing the point though…

  15. 15 Roll Tide

    I’ve been bombed in both places and think the poontang is probably an even draw. Andyram has it right on the liquor issue, but not spending a ton of money to get plowed is something I consider smart.
    I was ripped one night at the old Field House and saw ugly fucker Troy Skinner with the hottest Asian chic ever. The goofy shit was half plowed and this hot bitch was all over him. I was impressed as hell.
    By the way, I hate the school, but the best party atmoshpere I’ve evere seen was at Georgia. Wall-to-wall Southern hotties and booze everywhere. Shit school, great scene.

  16. 16 Colestal

    I’ve been planning a trip to Georgia because I heard the same thing. Iowa City can hold its own, but I can accept the fact that there are other good party schools in warmer places, and southern girls are smoking hot.

  17. 17 MikeSquawk

    Dude, if you wanna real contest between ISU and Iowa, see who can suck a dick the best. I’m sure Iowa will win that contest..of course they will..Iowa is afterall, the #1 school for gays and lesbians.

  18. 18 MikeSquawk

    And where the fuck is MikeHawk?

  19. 19 Mikehawk

    Eat dick.

  20. 20 MikeSquawk

    Suck it.

  21. 21 O

    Which toilet bowl is Iowa going to?

  22. 22 BigHawk

    looks like outback or alamo….
    those are pretty bad bowls i guess….
    fuckin idiot

  23. 23 Big T

    Listen hear you fuckin Clown faggots Iowa has made a January 1 bowl the past 3 years u guys lost to Kansas and Baylor this year the worst fucking teams in the shitiest conference in America, O by the way congrats on your close win against fuckin Miami(OH) last year in whatever shit bowl you guys were in.

  24. 24 ISU sucks

    Yeah, thatd be the Independence Bowl, haha Miami(OH)..tough..and dont forgot their loss(blowout) in Boise on the blue turf in ‘02, to wrap up a successul season for ISU(7-7)…State SUcks…GO HAWKS!

  25. 25 Big T

    Make it the past 4 years Iowa will be in a January Bowl

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