Nile vs. Jack
Okay, ISU fans, you might not want to read this one… Seriously, I am sure this will offend you, none the less… I do not give a shit, just a fair warning. I hate all of you and do not care about Iowa State.
Well it is Thanksgiving and I am sitting here, drunk off my ass. I was doing a little thinking about Kinnick Stadium and how much ass it kicks. Then as the drinks kept adding up I got to thinking a little deeper. I got to thinking about Nile Kinnick and how much ass he kicked, then I got to thinking about Jack Trice and about how he kicked no ass. As a matter fact, he got his ass kicked.
Colestal posted earlier about that whole “I will” ad campaign and how it comes off of Jack Trice’s last written letter. To be honest, I am surprised that somebody coming from ISU could write. That itself is Jack’s only accomplishment.
The Game
What people might not understand is that after Jack said, “I will…” he didn’t. He did not do a damn thing! He went up to play a Big Ten team, and got his ass kicked. Some might say, “Hey, that was racism, those Minnesota guys tried to injure him.” No, Cyclowns, that was not racism, that is just Big Ten football. Sorry we don’t do the whole pillow fight thing, we actually bring the pain to one another.
The Doctor
So those chumps at ISU decide to take him to the hospital. They come in there claiming an injury during the game. Well, the doctors are used to the Big Ten players coming in there banged up a little bit and tell them to walk it off, just like they did with Jack. That is what always worked when a Big Ten guy came in there. They were fine, Big Ten guys walk off everything from being paralyzed from head down to being paralyzed waist down. Everything else, they just don’t even go to the hospital. I have even seen a couple Big Ten guys hit so hard it created an explosion larger then the one that happened in Hiroshima. The whole stadium of Big Teners walked it off, even a few that died walked off that silly death syndrome.
So what is Jack Trice?
A Pussy.
Nile Kinnick
Nile Kinnick won a Heisman trophy, single handedly beat No. 1 Notre Dame and is credited for being the Iron Man of Iron Men. That is what they called the Hawks in 39, the Iron Men. Nile is credited for having the most clutch punt ever in college football and having the best Heisman speech ever. Oh, for you Cyclowns that read on, The Heisman is an award that is given to the best player in college football every year. I just figured you guys would not know what that is. Nile also threw a TD pass on over 33% of his passes.
Iron Men
For most the season, Iowa only had 14-15 players playing during the game. How did they still win game after game? You throw in Nile Kinnick with a few hardasses and you got a solid team. Just like, if Iowa had to, they could win a Big Ten championship next year with Tate, Young, Herb, and Moylan.
So How did Nile die?
Like every superhero, everybody must die. Did he die playing football? No, he kicked everybody’s ass on the field. After college, Nile did what the hardasses of the day did. He joined the Military. He died serving his country and being a hardass, just like he always was.
Heaven vs. Hell
So Nile is in Heaven and Jack is in hell. Is it because Nile wore the colors of heaven(Gold) and Jack wore the color of hell(red)? No, no, no… That is just a co-winky-dink… Jack Trice is in Hell because he is a chump and God hates ISU and Nile is in Heaven because he is a hardass and God loves Iowa and hardasses, like Nile.
What did we learn?
Well, since then ISU graduates with one of the largest debt totals in the nation and Iowa is one of the best medical schools in the nation…. Can you ISU fans do the math there? I will help you out. Cyclones get their asses kicked and go to the Hawkeyes to fix them up, we charge them and they cant pay; making debt. Oh, and God hates Iowa State…
State sucks!
ON IOWA
GO HAWKS!
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Fucking quality article…so ISU how much does the truth hurt?
fuck you
Nile Kinnick smokes pole. Some day in the after life, you guys will all have to bend over and take it while jack trice rams a broom stick up your sorry pathetic asses. Much in the same manner the Cyclones regularly do to the hawkeyes on the football field
Amazing. I don’t think it’s possible to argue this one. Nile vs. Jack is a good metaphor for Iowa vs. State. Kinnick clearly has the upper hand in this one.
How about them cyclones today! What a great finish to a great year for them. The sad thing is they consider it a good year if they beat iowa. If they are bowl eligible (even if just barely) they have a great year!
I love days like these. While the cyclones will be drinking themselves into depression with their shitty beer, I’ll be drinking to yet another year of watching Iowa State shit their most important game down their leg.
I think it is safe to say we wont be hearing from any cyclone fans for awhile after ISU losing to a terrible Kansas team who tried giving the game to ISU and then losing to Iona by 17! Iona is fuckin terrible, wow ISU sucks..
The stadium was named after Jack Trice because he died as a result of injuries sustained in a football game. Shame on you for disrespecting that. No one claimed he was a Heisman caliber football team, but he was a great, determined, hard-working, respectable guy. You obviously don’t know anything about him. This article shows just how ignorant and anti-ISU you really are. What a shame.
exactly
hey hey.. there will be no using of the “.” that was previously me. Also, obviously he had some good qualities or they wouldn’t have named their football stadium after him. This article just gives credit to how badass Nile was. And get a new name to comment with.
The main point of the article was to prove that Nile Kinnick was an amazing football player before an untimely death where Trice just had an untimely death. Its unargueable that Kinnick was a much much better football player than Trice…end of story
This says nothing about Jack Trice as a person. Obviously, none of us knew him. He was a Cyclone though, so I’m guessing we probably wouldn’t have liked him.
The point, like Drew said, is that Kinnick was a much better football player who took care of business on and off the field, and Trice didn’t quite match up. It was just said in an obscene Andyram type of way that was bound to piss a lot of people off. There was a disclaimer, so don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Nile Kinnick’s tears cured cancer…. Too bad he never cried…
obviously none of you know the real story of Jack Trice or you wouldn’t have posted this.
Just for the record.. Jack Trice was Iowa State’s first black athlete. Even though he participated in track and football, he still had to work to support his education.
He broke his collarbone in that game, and he continued to play. He was then involved in another hard hit which caused him internal bleeding. He AGAIN said he would be fine but was rushed to the hospital anyways where ignorant Minnesota doctors let him travel home where he then passed away.
I’d say that’s pretty “bad ass” to want to STILL compete when you’ve sustained injuries that eventually cause your death.
The writer of this pathetic piece should be ASHAMED of himself. Have you ever played a sport in your life? Doubtful. I would say go to hell, but I’m sure you’re heading there without my wish for it. Any Iowa fan should be ashamed to be acquainted with you, I am sorry that you call yourself a Hawk and a football fan.
Jack Trice is a pussy and he has a stadium named after him in the weakest college town in the fucking country. I went to Lames for the iowa vs. iowa state game and iowa state fans were drinking their natty ice because they cheap bastards then you walk into the stadium and i had to pay fucking 30 bucks to sit on a fucking grass hill. All i gotta say is FUCK IOWA STATE