Archive for January, 2006

“He Gone!”

Posted by Mikehawk on January 31st, 2006

Thanks, Jason- It’s been fun.

ISU Baseball Preview

Posted by Andyram on January 31st, 2006

Ames, IA — Some of our readers on the ISU side of the fence have been complaining that we just rip on ISU to get a funny feeling in our pants. Well, that’s not the image we want here at Hawkize so I decided to do a little favor for those Cyclone fans. […]

What IS Zero Tolerance?

Posted by Mikehawk on January 29th, 2006

We’re about to find out.
—AMES—
Jason Berryman, 20, of Ames, was ticketed last night for being in a bar under the age of 21- which could be a violation of his parole.

We’ve Still Got Coach Ferentz

Posted by Colestal on January 27th, 2006

As you have probably heard, President David Skorton is leaving the University of Iowa to take over as the president of Cornell University. Initially, I was a little upset that President Skorton decided to leave, but then I realized that things could have been much, much worse. At least we didn’t lose Coach […]

The Hawkize Rating System

Posted by Mikehawk on January 21st, 2006

Well, Hawk fans, Football season is just 223 days away– and the Iowa Hawkeyes have announced that the first victim of the 2006 campaign will be the Montana Grizzlies.
Hawkize.com would like to wish the Montana Grizzlies and their families our sincerest apologies for what will take place inside the walls of Historic Kinnick Stadium on […]

Ellis Hobbs Pisses Playoff Game Away

Posted by Colestal on January 15th, 2006

Denver, CO–The Denver Broncos crushed the New England Patriots’ Super Bowl hopes tonight with a 27-13 win. Ellis Hobbs, a rookie cornerback from Iowa State, fumbled on a crucial kickoff return and was beaten deep multiple times in the loss.
“I didn’t even know who Ellis Hobbs was until he fumbled on that kickoff,” said […]

Hey, I can change my license plate too, Colestal

Posted by Mikehawk on January 12th, 2006

A few weeks ago, Colestal got a black and gold license plate and it read HAWKIZE.
I decided to get a personal plate as well.
Enjoy.

Told you so.

Posted by Mikehawk on January 12th, 2006

From http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2289190
Iowa coach Kirk Ferentz has informed NFL teams that he is withdrawing his name from consideration for head coaching jobs and returning to coach the Hawkeyes, ESPN’s Chris Mortensen reported Wednesday.
The Houston Texans were said to be interested in Ferentz, and the Wisconsin State Journal on Wednesday said Ferentz remained a candidate for the […]

BREAKING NEWS:

Posted by Mikehawk on January 11th, 2006

BREAKING NEWS….

Andyram has declared himself eligible for the NFL Draft.
Yep- you heard it here first. Andyram, DMACC’s finest, will become the first DMACC Bear to declare himself eligible for the NFL Draft when he makes his announcement from his boxers in his living room in Ankeny tomorrow. Andyram is expected to announce around 2:00 or […]

A few things.

Posted by Mikehawk on January 05th, 2006

Well, Hawkize.com faithful (There are quite a few of you now- we thank you for your patronage.), it’s time to get a little something besides hair of my chest.
All this talk of Kirk Ferentz leaving Iowa can stop.
RIGHT
FUCKING
NOW.
The only place Kirk is going is to Perkins in Coralville to have some coffee, then maybe […]

How are we doing?

Posted by Mikehawk on January 05th, 2006

HAWKIZE.COM UPDATE:
Colestal is still drunk. He keeps passing in and out, mumbling something to the effect of “Fuckn Greensides Offway bullshit I fuck Oscar Meyer up fuck shit.”
Andyram has killed seven people just for mentoining Florida. Even a 12 year old kid on a bike who said he wanted to go to Disneyworld.
I’m hopped […]

Fisted!

Posted by Mikehawk on January 05th, 2006

Thursday, January 5, 2006
Official admits Outback mistake
DES MOINES — A Conference USA official said league referees made a mistake when they flagged Iowa’s Chad Greenway for being offside late in the fourth quarter of Monday’s Outback Bowl, the Des Moines Register reported Wednesday in a copyright story.
Down by seven with 1:24 left, Iowa’s Scott Chandler […]