The Hawkize Rating System
Well, Hawk fans, Football season is just 223 days away– and the Iowa Hawkeyes have announced that the first victim of the 2006 campaign will be the Montana Grizzlies.
Hawkize.com would like to wish the Montana Grizzlies and their families our sincerest apologies for what will take place inside the walls of Historic Kinnick Stadium on September 2.
The carnage, of course, will be horrific. This has prompted the Hawkize.com crew to issue a parental advisory warning for the events that will take place this coming season. You see, we’ve come up with a rating system here at Hawkize- and you, as faithful viewers, get the first peak at the new program.
For games against smaller and less powerful schools, we have assigned a rating a Restricted. I wouldn’t let small children watch these games- unless you’re comfortable with your little Timmy seeing a whole lot of blood.
For Big 10 Matchups, especially those games such as Michigan, Ohio State, and other pansy asses that are going to get owned- we’ve decided on NC-17. We don’t advise that you let anyone who doesn’t have pubic hair watch these games- they might have puberty enduced by simply seeing Herb Grigsby reel in a 50 yard TD from Drew Tate.
And then, of course, we had to get a separate rating just for the Iowa State game. This rating, of course, is H- for Hawkize only.
Please, Parents- read the warnings. We mean it.
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Glad to see Iowa is playing somebody for a change
It’s not our fault that these teams keep backing out on us. Northern Illinois backed out too… let’s replace them with Bama.
whoa when did northern illinois back out? I read an article on the 20th on hawkeyesports.com that said they were in…right in the middle of conference play. Can’t wait for the season though, the schedule looks great. I look at Montana as a stronger opponent than Iowa State. It’s a different world in Kinnick, E-Money is going to fuck up Bret Meyer’s World.
Alabama came, contract in hand, to the Big 10 back in 1999. The deal was a four-year home-away-home-away with Bama getting the first home game. They went to Ohio St. first, who turned them down. They then offered it to ANYONE in the Big 10 and were entirely shut out.
Now, without being partisan, you do have to feel for Iowa, Alabama or any other big program when they try to schedule. Very often a team will drop off (BYU and UCLA left Bama two years ago, screwing the Tide and forcing Middle Tenn. St and Memphis onto the schedule) so I DO feel for the Hawks.
It is damn near impossible for the bigger DI schools to schedule. Fans want great matchups but those are tough to come by if they are out of conference. Toss in conferences changing size and shape (ACC, Big East) and the problem increases.
Penn State and Bama played each other four years in a row in the late 80s early 90s but lost each other when the SEC went to two six-team divisions.
At least in Iowa’s defense Montana is a top-notch program at their level. They don’t stand a chance in Iowa City but we do better than, say, Washington and Lee would.
Alabama came, contract in hand, to the Big 10 back in 1999. The deal was a four-year home-away-home-away with Bama getting the first home game. They went to Ohio St. first, who turned them down. They then offered it to ANYONE in the Big 10 and were entirely shut out.
Now, without being partisan, you do have to feel for Iowa, Alabama or any other big program when they try to schedule. Very often a team will drop off (BYU and UCLA left Bama two years ago, screwing the Tide and forcing Middle Tenn. St and Memphis onto the schedule) so I DO feel for the Hawks.
It is damn near impossible for the bigger DI schools to schedule. Fans want great matchups but those are tough to come by if they are out of conference. Toss in conferences changing size and shape (ACC, Big East) and the problem increases.
Penn State and Bama played each other four years in a row in the late 80s early 90s but lost each other when the SEC went to two six-team divisions.
At least in Iowa’s defense Montana is a top-notch program at their level. They don’t stand a chance in Iowa City but will
do better than, say, Washington and Lee would.
go hawks!!!! Fuck the Blue and Maize!!!
Its a good thing when we can scare the crap out of Missouri and Western Michigan. This means not only are we good. Were gonna win the championship. GO HAWKS