Happy President’s Day from Hawkize
We know- we’re a day late on the wishes, but Andyram was drunker than snot last night and only was able to send me this via instant messanger:
Andyram: dud e we shol do pres. day hawkizes
So, that’s what I gathered- he wanted to wish you all a wonderful President’s Day on behalf of all of us here at Hawkize.com. Who do we have to thank, though, on President’s Day? Easy.
President of the Funk: Doug Thomas
You’ve all got to witness DT throw it down with a vengance for the past two years, leaving scars on Carver Hawkeye Arena’s rims nightly. We salute you, Doug Thomas, as our President of Funk. Without you, who would have put Shannon Brown in his place for flexing those muscles against us in East Lansing? Without you, Doug Thomas, we would not have a reason to throw our Hawkeye Cups full of coke into the air every 5 minutes when you let down a thunderous jam. Thank you, Doug.
President of Iowa: Kirk Ferentz
Yeah, we know- David Skorton is still “officially” the President of the University- but we know who runs the show. If it wern’t for Kirk, no one would come here. Ask yourself this, U of I students- if Kirk wasn’t coaching, what would I do? I know the list includes self-mutulation and actions resulting in jail time for myself. Thank you, Kirk, for making the University what it is- a four (or seven, in Andyram’s case) year program of pain and domination.
President of the Post :Greg Brunner
Greg, we here at Hawkize.com appreciate your willingness to show Brad Augustine, Paul Davis, Marco Killingsworth, and every other center in the Big 10 who the fucking boss is. For four years now, Greg, you’ve graced us with your presence down low, having your share of high-flying dunks and three pointers to compliment them. Greg, we kindly request…FOUR MORE YEARS!
President of the Three: Jeff Horner
Andyram said it best a couple weeks ago after Jeff ripped 33 on Purdue- it’s simple aritmetic. Jeff Horner minus his brace equals an All-American. Jeff, please, as President of the Top of the Key, take that brace and shove it in every oriface that Illinois has.
President of Destruction: Bob Sanders
If you’re new to Hawkize.com, you’re probably not familiar with Bob Sanders’ hurculean feats of demolition throughout college. Well, he decapitated nine people (according to Andyram’s Miller Lite statsheet) and had 720 tackles. (We gave him every tackle throughout the senior season because we know that no one else forced that guy to fall down- he just thought of Bob and crumbled.) I’m pretty sure 720 is a new Iowa record. That, my friends, is a president.
And lastly..
President of the United States: George W. Bush
Don’t like him? Lick our red, white, and blue nuts, hippies. This is George’s country until 2008- get over it.
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sorry, used to think your website was a riot, but can’t support pro-bush causes. good luck, go hawks.
yeah george bush does suck pretty bad man. anybody can see it. sides, iowa is such a liberal college? why u guys so conservative? but this site still is pretty sweet.
Hippie, unless you bought a tshirt or a thong, shut the fuck up- you’re not supporting us.
Why are we so conservative? We have brains.
I also have my problems with Bush. However, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Even if he hasn’t made the best decisions (which is a matter of opinion) we still need to support him, he’s our pres. Go Hawks! Go Bush! (i guess..) I like the band better…
So what if I bought a shirt? (sorry no thong:()
Then, your opinion matters to us. Drop us an email if something offends you and you really do support us.
my opinion matters to you even if i dont buy a shirt. But O well I know people that are hawkeye fans yet sadly republicans.
I’m an independent, so we’re not all Republicans here. All parties aside, they have little to nothing to do with our support of the Hawks. Both Democrats and Republicans can agree on how much ass we kick. I was going to vote Ferentz/Parker on the Hawkeye ticket in the last election, but I felt like I was doing America a disservice by not taking my vote seriously.
dude straight up. i love the hawks just as much as any republican. Bush has got nothing to do with iowa’s ass kicking
Fuck all of you hippie fuckers, I love the hawks and the hawks love kicking ass, just like George W. Bush(like how he loves to kick iraqis asses).. Hippies, like Ted Kennedy love sucking crank(like how he sucked Michael Moores tiny peter) like the cyclones. Whammy!
Love you guys, but the pro-Bush thing just isn’t cool.
This site was way cooler before you brought somebody who sucked onto the website. George Bush has no place with the hawkeyes. You guys know damn well he would pull for any texas team over the Hawks and when the Minnesota football team probably has a higher IQ than the president’s entire cabinet there are problems. Leave George the Joke out of the website. Its way better without him.
haha. u bring george in and get shut the fuck down by all failhful readers.
George Bush is my president, but let us not forget the leader from Texas that all of Hawkeye nation is looking to for results in our times of need: Drew Tate, “President of the Whoops Asshole You Couldn’t Tackle me and I Just Torched Your Pathetic Defense With Another Incredible Touchdown Pass.”
Yeah, this Bush thing isn’t going over well at all. I agree–Bush in Iowa City isn’t a very popular choice.
Let’s make this the first and last mention of politics that ever happens on this site, at least until we campaign for Kirk Ferentz for governor or President.
Oh yeah, I sure got “shut the fuck down,” because now I’m scared and will NEVER post my opinion again– ohhhhh nooooo!
yeah i agree. politics hasnt got shit to do with the hawkeyes. im done with it. go michigan state tonite, and good job michigan last nite!!!
Who cares what your politics are? Democrat/Republican/Independent/Whatever, if you can’t chuckle at “Lick our red, white, and blue nuts, hippies.” Then you suck, and don’t even deserve to have a political affiliation. Go Hawks.
Some of you people are taking this way too far. Big deal
The hippie thing was funny indeed. Illinois can suck them too.
hippie thing was very fun. just like conservatives are redneck inbreed trailer park hicks?? lol nah jk
we aren’t all liberal weenies in IC. Go hawks!
4 More Years for W.
in the words of eric cartman…”Hippies.They’re everywhere. They wanna save the earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad. “
This website has gone downhill the entire year. Now it takes another step back. Get rid of MikeHawk guys, it will be a much better site.
Killer,
What’s it like to have sex with guys? Hawkize would like to know.
probably close to whats its like doing it with your cousins redneck?
Well, at first I thought your mom was a man. Man, what a disappointment.
FUCK ILLINOIS!!
who gives a shit what political party you are all that matters is iowa is going to kick illinois ass.
hudhawk–shut up, i’ve seen you bend more guys over than Brokeback Mountain. First, go Iowa! Second, George W. is a fuckin bad ass much like a standard hawkeye athlete. Can no one see this? Without either one Iowa would be a little closer to the shit hole we all know as Michigan. Go back to the 70’s you hippes!
So you guys want MikeHawk kicked off because he made a small comment about george w bush, no where did he say he’s the greatest thing to ever happen to america, no where did he even say he was a good president, it’s all a matter of opionion anyway….kind of like the ongoing debate between iowa and iowa state, i swear some of you people just look for reasons to rip on iowa fans, wait for your balls to drop, then start leaving comments.
bush has done a fantastic job of ass kicking half the country into believing the USA rules everyone and their business. more like egotistical pig-headedness than ass kicking.
nice Anonymous
Damnit, no more politics! Save it for the next election year.