VANISHED!
AMES DESTROYED, CITY VANISHES OFF MAP
AMES, IOWA - Gone.
Vanished.
In the span of 30 minutes Thursday evening, the entire city of Ames, Iowa, home of Iowa State University, was wiped out by a catastrophic storm that reached epic proportions near it’s pinnacle.
Winds blew nearly 200 miles per hour as an F-33 tornado beared down upon the college city of 30,000.
No Iowa State students or faculty were available for comment. Neither were Ames residents, who have vanished into the haze of a storm some people called “perfect.”
“I’d say it was perfect,” Andyram told Hawkize.com. “I mean, it got rid of those cocksuckers, didn’t it?”
Colestal, co-founder of the pro-Hawkeye website, echoed Andyram’s comments.
“Sure, we lost a little farm-studying university and a few thousand Ames residents,” he said, “but at least we didn’t lose any sports teams. That’d have a terrible economic impact on the state of Iowa as a whole- thank God we didn’t lose any sports teams.”
After catching wind of the storm brewing, Hawkize.com caught exclusive doppler radar of the event unfolding.
The storm beared down around 6 p.m. CST.
However, at around 6:05 p.m. CST, the radar went out. We hooked back up via satellite at 6:07 p.m. CST, and this is what we found:
Completely vanished! Ames was wiped off the map in a mere three minutes- and the storm vanished into thin air.
After speaking with officials in story county, early estimates on the storm say it may have caused as much as $6.3 billion in improvement.
Search
As always.. Mike produces another quality post.
Personally, I think that they need to do use Ames as the test subject for this: http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/03/30/060330162648.wxde5ocl.html
(note: 700-tonne = 700 metric tons)
There may be some who mourn Ames, IA — a place where men were men, women were men, and the children couldn’t tell the difference — but you will not find them here. They may be in France, or some other gay-ass country like that, but no God-fearing red-blooded American will shed a tear for a town that only mattered in crossword puzzles that needed a four-letter word beginning with “A.”
I’ve given you a rough time recently, but this was a quality post. Very original. Goodjob MikeHawk.
Serves them right for SUCKING at life. (and athletics, sex, making a decent living, you know.)
Thanks, that really made my day, taking science and defeating our instate bitches makes me proud
very funny
lmfao oh my god that was great i could think of nothing more helarious than to have ames completly wiped off the map. As for all the cyclone fans well they will not be missed and truthfully isu university sucks a big one anyway so then everyone will be forced to become die hard hawk fans, however the remaining cyclone fans will be destroyed by another storm some day. GO HAWKS!!
Once again Mikehawk proves his manhood. Tough blow losing Ames, though, because Hickory Park was a great place to eat. There were some babes there, but there are babes in most places, so I suppose the loss isn’t that great. I wonder, though … did piece of shit Alex Thompson vanish in his home along with all the other Ames High jackasses?
He sure definately did.
haha I saw him at union last night with JR. Maybe it was a look-a-like with more athletic ability?
Ames was just a bad road side attraction. It wasnt needed it like havein a museum for squirrles its not worth goin to
That wasn’t an f33 tornado. It was a BS 33 sneeze. That’s right, a single Bobby Sanders sneeze has the power to flatten the whole cryclone nation. Grapple with that Cael Sanderson, when Tom Brands and all of his wrestlers get here their gonna dominate your pussy asses if you ever rebuild your #13 wrestling team.
You know, it is a shame the storm vanished. Just think, it was on a path right for Madison. With a little luck it might have been blown straight across the lake and taken out the dump of East Lansing and (Up The) Ass Harder, err, Ann Arbor.
Guess you can’t have everything.
Have I mentioned lately that I LOVE this site!!!
Ok, so I would just like to say that I LOVE Iowa State. I love the bird in the tornado, I love how there is a farm on campus and I love crimson and gold.
Oh, and one more thing….APRIL FOOLS!!