Colestal Survives F2 Cyclone
Unless you’ve been in a drunken haze for the past few days, you’ve probably heard by now that Iowa City just got ravaged by a tornado. Even then, you’ve probably still heard about it. I know this because Andyram called me (in his usual drunken haze) right after it went through. I inadvertently put myself directly in the path of destruction and lived to tell about it. Here’s my story:
I was sitting down to study for my exam the next morning, and I heard the hail start coming down. I was worried about my badass Hawkize mobile getting hail damage, so I dropped everything so that I could take it to a parking ramp. I quickly checked the weather report before I left and saw the tornado warnings, and I figured a parking ramp wouldn’t be a bad place to be if a tornado actually did hit.
I jumped in my car and busted ass down to the ramp on Gilbert between College and Washington (the one with the blue windows) and parked in there. I was originally planning on running back to the apartment (you know, those tornado warnings never amount to anything…) but then the sirens started going off so I figured it would be a better idea to stay put for a while.
A couple other dudes had the same idea, so we were just standing there in the ramp looking out to the west towards downtown. The size of the hail got progressively larger (golf ball sized), so I was pretty glad that I got my car in there. After a few minutes, the hail died down a bit. We were thinking the storm might have passed, but then it started to get really, really dark (it was about 8:30 pm, so it should have been getting dark, but not that dark). Looking over towards city hall, we could see the rain starting to go sideways…that’s never a good sign.
We keep watching towards the west, and all of the sudden I saw a lot of swirling right above the brand new Plaza Towers. At that point, I was kind of in disbelief hoping that I wasn’t seeing the start of what I thought I was seeing.
About a minute later, it was pretty obvious that a funnel cloud had formed, and it was hovering right on top of the buildings. As it moved, I saw that it was starting to come down towards the ground…and it was heading straight for us. We watched for a few seconds longer and bailed for the inside part of the ramp because we were right in its path.
I kneeled down and wrapped my arms around the cables that divide the ramp. At this point, all I knew was there was a tornado heading straight for me, so you kind of prepare for the worst. There was enough time to secure my cell phone so that I had it in case something happened.
The tornado reached the parking ramp about a minute after we took cover. When the tornado passed, it was much like Kinnick Stadium on a football Saturday. The ramp was shaking, dust and sand were flying everywhere, it windy as hell, and very noisy. That lasted about thirty seconds and finally passed.
As it turns out, it was an F2 tornado, and it went right over our heads. It proceeded to destroy basically everything between Washington and College streets. The path of destruction looked like something left by a very angry Bob Sanders:
Trees were uprooted…
cars were flipped…
houses were destroyed…
Total chaos.
In my life, I’ve now been hit by both an F2 tornado and Hawkeye safety Devan Moylan. I can assure you that even though a tornado sounds pretty freaky, it’s much scarier and probably more life threatening being hit by Devan Moylan.
In the end, there was basically a path of destruction from southwest to southeast along a northeast diagonal through the city. Probably the worst damage was on the blocks between College and Washington streets, a block from where I live. But it could have been worse. Both Kinnick Stadium and Carver-Hawkeye Arena were totally unaffected by the tornado.
It’s ironic that Iowa City was destroyed by a Cyclone, but like always, we’ll bounce back. It’s only about five months until we get a rematch with Cyclones of a different sort, and once again, the University of Iowa will be in the midst of the path of destruction. But this time, we’ll be the ones doing the destroying.
On Iowa,
GO HAWKS!
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Glad your still breathing buddy. I wouldn’t make to much of the Cyclone irony. There is a reason an Iowa school is named after a tornado. I dont think any Miami fans are talking shit at LSU fans cause their biggest city got destroyed by a hurricane. If they are, they are classes pieces of shit and should be castrated. A much better argument/discussion would be why the ISU mascot is a dumbass red bird. Homes will be rebuilt, normalcy will return. Thankfully, no university buildings were hit and even more thankfully no one in Iowa City was hurt or killed. Just goes to show you God loves the Hawkeyes. As for mother nature, I do believe I saw Herky running around in the streets during the tornado with two middle fingers up in the air yelling, “You wanna piece of this bitch!” And one more point: When Iowa City takes damage its due to an irresistable force of nature. When LAmes takes damage, its due to its dumbass, pig-fucking students rioting cause…..hell I dont know. Why do you intellectuals at isu destroy your own campus?
haha. Cole I think I called you last night to see if you had survived the storm. Did I actually talk to you? I was drunk. It happens. Fucking tornadoes.
You didnt’ call me, LMCP!!!! WHATTHEFUCKKKK?!?!1
Haha. Sorry Mike. It had to be one of two reasons. Either Cole is more important than you, or I don’t have your number. Either way, glad you’re apparently alright.
I agree with Zounds — any idiot making fun of a real life disaster needs slapped. Thank God no one was killed and thank God the damage was, bad as it is, less than what it could have been. Even die hard Illini fans don’t wish something like this to happen. When it rains on a picnic in Iowa City it is funny; when something like this happens our common humanity trumps all other concerns. Hope everyone is repaired and underway again ASAP …
I was recently reading “The 10 Spot” on SI.com and I would really like to share #9 with everyone.
9. The Big 12 and Mountain West conferences are still waiting for the full payouts from the 2005 EV1.net Houston Bowl. In related news, the EV1.net Bowl will now be nicknamed the Chronically Destitute Younger Brother of Them All.
Hahahahahahahaha….congratulations cyclowns, you must be proud
So yeah… I still really hate ‘cyclones’
http://cyclones.cstv.com/sports/m-footbl/spec-rel/041706aaa.html
Looks like there is a Barry bonds impersonator on the isu football team!
23-3
Does 35-19 mean anything to u larry. Iowa has won 35 out of 54 games played. Not to mention the early 90’s where iowa demolished iowa state like 60-3 and 56-7. Im not sure weather that counts cuz u cant remeber more then 2 minutes ago
Actually those numbers don’t mean much to me. They are pretty old if you haven’t figured that out. 23-3 is still pretty relevant.
It just keeps getting better and better…
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=2411990
Those One a Day “Gummie Flintstone Vitamins” Those cyclones take, must have something a little more in them. Thank God that our Hawks don’t have to rely on those to kick butt. Don’t worry clowns…maybe they will have a recall on them. Ha! Ha!
Did the hawkeye steroid supply blow away in the torndado?
As long as Ferentz kept a tight grip on those whizzinators with his mouth, you guys will be fine.
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