NWS Confirms Storm
JOHNSTON - Officials from the National Weather Service held a press conference on Tuesday afternoon in Johnston to talk to the public about the storm that ravaged Iowa City on Thursday evening.
“After studying radar images and first-hand witness statements about the storm,” NWS chairman Bob Weodababeisaboi said, “We have confirmed that it was not the F-2 tornado that most think that it was that tore a path across the city.
It was, instead, a convergance of two of the deadliest things to ever grace the face of the earth: Dan Gable and Tom Brands.”
A stunned crowd sat and listened to the words dropped off of Weodababeisaboi’s mouth and into the microphone.
“We have it on good authority, after lots of deliberation, that it was Brands himself who destroyed Mendards and WalMart,” the chairman continued. “He then tagged his mentor and new Iowa Wrestling Assistant Coach Dan Gable, who continued the path of distruction downtown. He ripped the roof off of two downtown bars, drank all the liquor, and continued on.”
Estimates of the damages were over $6 million, but Hawkeye fans think that’s a small price to pay for the expected 25 straight national titles that Gable and Brands will bring back to Carver over the next quarter century.
Andyram is missing in action and was not available for comment. Colestal is still hiding out because he heard Gable is back in town. Updates soon.
Search
Praise the sports god, Dan Gable has returned to lift thou hawkeyes to be National Champions again. Thank you Sports Gods, for all that you have brought to us, Kirk, Dan and Brands…..AAAAAAAAmen….
This post needs some love… LOVE.
Until Kirk Ferentz gets elected president, this will be the happiest day of my life. Did anyone else find it coincidental that the second coming of Dan Gable happened over Easter?
My Birthday party is going on 2nite downtown! Every Hawkeye is invited! Let me know if you wanna come!!
23-3 Clowns win. in case you forgot.
Pictures
http://www.uiowa.edu/~classics/tornado/tornado.html
Pic look pretty bad but they will bounce bac like always.
Larry, don’t kick a person while there down… Especially when they’ve been struck by tornados…
And don’t you have some other things to do than waste your time on this site….
Ohh, wait, sorry, cyclowns spend most of their time looking at OUR sites and not their own because there are NO cyclown sites like this…
I have it from inside sources that it was actually an un-named formed ISU student passing his PhD comps at squawks u on this day that spawned the rath of the cyclone. Moral of the story: ‘fat, drunk, and stupid is not way to go through life son’ after you go to ISU and downgrade your career 2 obtaining a degree from squawkeye u or you may welcome the cyclone rath that will hunt u down 2 have its revenge (unless you favor looking at loads and loads of hot chicks every day until you die). Lets all pause a minute and think of the millions of dollars and lives aspue this act has caused.