Andyram Accepts Responsibility for Cell Phone Scandal
The big news with the Iowa football team this week was the Des Moines Register’s discovery of more players involved in the Jeremy Reed cell phone scandal. Former players Jovon Johnson, Antwan Allen, and Marques Simmons, along with current Hawkeye Marcus Paschal, were said to have been involved.
In a seemingly unrelated story, Hawkize contributor Andyram also had a rough week. Andyram was again cited for multiple alcohol violations and spent a night in the Polk County jail. And now this:
“I take full responsibility for the cell phone scandal. That unidentified player…yeah, that was me,” said Andyram in a statement issued today.
Why admit fault and risk being badgered by reporters and penalized by the NCAA?
“Hell, I’ve already got so many charges against me now that one more doesn’t make a difference. I’m tired of hearing the media talk about it, and maybe now they’ll shut the hell up.”
Accused of having no association with the players involved, Andyram set the record straight.
“I gave Jovon twenty bucks one time at the Fieldhouse when I was wasted. I told him he would need it to hold him over until he got to the NFL. Jovon and I are tight, man.”
Andyram was then informed that Jovon had signed with the Pittsburgh Steelers, news he had missed while in jail.
“WTF!! That was a loan. Jovon, I want my money back now that you’re in the NFL.”
Andyram is currently awaiting his sentencing. A jail sentence is likely, and Andyram has asked the judge to place him in the Kinnick Stadium holding cell for the duration of his sentence.
“I’ve been in a lot of jailhouses, but never the Kinnick holding cell. My life isn’t complete until I spend at least a day in that cell. Hopefully the judge is a Hawk fan.”
115 Responses to “Andyram Accepts Responsibility for Cell Phone Scandal”
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
- 6
- 7
- 8
- 9
- 10
- 11
- 12
- 13
- 14
- 15
- 16
- 17
- 18
- 19
- 20
- 21
- 22
- 23
- 24
- 25
- 26
- 27
- 28
- 29
- 30
- 31
- 32
- 33
- 34
- 35
- 36
- 37
- 38
- 39
- 40
- 41
- 42
- 43
- 44
- 45
- 46
- 47
- 48
- 49
- 50
- 51
- 52
- 53
- 54
- 55
- 56
- 57
- 58
- 59
- 60
- 61
- 62
- 63
- 64
- 65
- 66
- 67
- 68
- 69
- 70
- 71
- 72
- 73
- 74
- 75
- 76
- 77
- 78
- 79
- 80
- 81
- 82
- 83
- 84
- 85
- 86
- 87
- 88
- 89
- 90
- 91
- 92
- 93
- 94
- 95
- 96
Leave a Reply
You must log in to post a comment.
Search
LoL, Andyram… Do you remember talking to me last night? Yes I will visit you when you’re in jail, no I will not “suck your weiner” even though you’d “do the same for [me]”
ARam owes me $20– that’s okay though. I’m willing to consider that a donation to his ‘quest to be a felon’ fund. You know that shit is gonna get expensive…
Actually, if you can manage to go two years and one day between each public intox, you can get them erased from your record.
However, if you pick up one public intox any sooner - say, one per month - well, you’re screwed.
Well i just wanted to re-establish that Iowa State cries at night with the beatings the bigger better stronger smarter brother Iowa lays down on them….iowa state might as well sink to hell.
Andyram struggles to make it six months between public intox violations…two years is totally out of the question
Yeah them ic parties are hard to stay away from
He lives in Des Moines. If he lived in Iowa City, he’d be dead by now, for sure.
Isn’t he moving to IC next year? ut oh..
Andyram, a word?
I think we need a press conference…
I’m still alive.
Impressed.
He is more alive then the isu baseball team.
i think kurt cobain is more alive than the isu baseball team.
Did u hear they found jimmy hoffa today at the baseball field at the univeristy of Iowa state
me, kurt and jimmy and ISU’s 3 biggest baseball fans
Yeah i hope u guys dont get too rowdy at the games in lames
this site is kinda like isu the past few days DEAD
hahaha ISU doesn’t have a baseball team. wow this site fucking sucks my ass. The only time people are active on here is when I make posts. What a joke. If you really want something to laugh at here ya go….
23-3
Bah ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reminds me of Sept 10 when each and every one of you faggots had no doubt that the Hawks would not only win, but win big. Hearing the shit talk before the game and then seeing the sheepish looks on the way out was worth the price of admission in itself!