Okay, its been awhile. I’m sorry.
Hawkize fans,
I come to you today to offer my apologies. It’s been far too long between my last post and this one- and, in true Mikehawk style, I refuse to make any excuses. Fuck you, it’s my website- I’ll fucking take breaks if I feel like it.
But all that aside, I’ve been really fucking busy. You see, after Iowa dropped its first game of the season to Ohio State at Historic Kinnick Stadium, Andyram actually had a heart attack and died. I had to go to his funeral- he requested a keg on his casket, his last words being “This is the only time you’ll have a drink on me, fuckhead. Oh yeah, don’t let any fucking Cyclone fans in either. Give them a Zima and send them on their way. (DEAD)”
After we got that dirty son of a bitch Andyram buried eight feet under (six wouldn’t do folks- Andy has a perpetual erection that’s two feet long), we turned our heads back to Iowa football only to see our beloved Hawks drop a game to Indiana, via the Kevin Hardy express. I was actually in Indiana that weekend at a cross country meet, but upon the news that we lost to In-dee-fucking-anna, I decided to run the entire race with my dick tucked between my legs to prove a point. What point I’m not sure, but I’ll figure it out once I have feeling to my genitals again.
Yeah, we all know the rest of the story- we dropped back-to-back home games for the first time since the Nixon administration. Hawks, it could be worse- we could be Iowa State. They’re on a one-way train to Shitsville. Even Todd Blythe is so sick of playing that he’s faking Mono to not have to suit up. But wait- it gets better: no more Dan McCarney. I’m going to miss you, Dan- mostly for your mentally retarded offensive calls, but somewhat because now I don’t know any coaches that remind me of the Bitter Beer Face man.
The Hawks have one left at Minnesota this weekend. If we lose, I might axe myself. If I do, I give all posting rights to God.
Yes, I gave my posting rights to Hayden Fry. Get over it.
See you soon, Andyram.
ON IOWA. GO HAWKS.
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Well as much as I hate to bring up the Michigan v. Ohio State game. It is worth mentioning that the last time the Big Ten represented a #1 v. #2 game was Octobeer 19, 1985. Otherwise know as “The Kick” as a #1 Iowa defeated a #2 Michigan 12-10.
Ah, yes, Octobeer. Probably my favorite month behind Novembeer and Decembeer.
fucking minnesota…
another season. yet again hawk fans had the highest of hopes, thinking cock of the walk, and were not as good as their cockiness once showed at the beginning of the season. at least u beat isu this time. kinda the opposite of last year. lose to isu but have a better rest of the season… and now beat isu and suck. i dont know which is more funny. have fun at iowa.
So haver you are correct, the season didn’t go as planned. Considering how we finished the season I’d say going to the Alamo Bowl is still a testament to the great fans and following that the Iowa Hawkeyes have. Just do me one favor, let me know how ISU’s bowl game goes…….
Also one question. Explain to me what “thinking cock of the walk” means.
If I had time to write a full article on this I would…but this kid (Sam McGuffie) right now has Iowa as his top school and no shit this kid looks like the next Ted Ginn or need I say…better. And the big shocker is…hes white!!! http://withleather.com/post.phtml?pk=1632