Let me start by saying that I am still intoxicated, thanks to the $3 tallboys from the Vine yesterday. Thanks a lot, you liver-crushing assholes.

With that being said, we played one of the best games of the year. I saw the Drew Tate that a bunch of asshole, fair-weather Hawkeye fans forgot existed- the Tate that gets excited and pissed off (all while throwing for nearly 300 yards and hitting every receiver on the numbers.) We came up short with a shitty last drive- the magic ran out, and we lost the game.

But we’ll move on. We had a shitty season, by all means- but it could be worse. Think about it, everyone:

We could be MINNESOTA- who dismissed their long-time, douchebag of a coach Glen Mason on Sunday, after bending over for Big 12 Cellar Dweller Texas Tech, blowing a 31-point lead with only 20 minutes to go.

We could be PURDUE- the team of 8 wins (without OSU and Michigan on their schedule) that got their asses handed to them in yet another mediocre bowl game. Also, their coach looks like Wilford Bremly and their school is 65-35 dudes to chicks. Wow, what a sausage fest.

We could be NAVY- who fumbled away an opportunity to win a third straight bowl game late in the fourth quarter of the Whogivesafuck Car Care game.

We could be whatever teams played in the Papa Johns Pizza Bowl- honestly, I would rather play in the Division IAA playoffs. Seriously.

But, when it all boils down to it- we can always thank our lucky stars that we ARE NOT Iowa State. We are not the laughing stock of college football, we have fans that actually attend games, we will win the Cy-Hawk trophy this year by a stunning margin, and we ARE NOT GAY. We ARE IOWA. Hold your heads high, Hawk fans, because it could be worse.

 On Iowa. GO HAWKS.