Colts announce surprise move to Iowa City
INDIANAPOLIS - (HAWKIZE) Minutes after the Indianapolis Colts won the AFC championship and secured their first trip to the Super Bowl in 35 years, Colts owner Jim Irsay announced what Indianapolis residents are calling “a shock.”
“After 30 years with the city of Indianapolis, it is with much excitement that I am announcing my franchise’s plans to relocate to Iowa City, Iowa,” Irsay said in a press release available to exclusively to Hawkize.
When asked for the major motivating factor behind the move, Irsay pointed to a picture of Bob Sanders.
“We all know where Bob came from. Obviously, you know of Dallas Clark as well. We sat down and did some math, and at the rate the Iowa Hawkeyes are producing our future players, we figured the move made sense,” the owner continued.
Irsay also hinted at a joint program with the Hawkeyes, making Iowa somewhat of a developmental team for the Colts.
“It can work on all levels. We can have Colts players attend Hawkeye practices to learn how to actually play in the NFL, and Coach Dungy could take some notes from Kirk Ferentz to boot,” Irsay commented.
He wouldn’t, however, comment on a Hawkize rumor mill entry that the Colts would be adopting black and gold uniforms with strikingly similar looks to Iowa’s.
“We’re going to win the Super Bowl first,” he said, “then we’ll take care of that.”
15 Responses to “Colts announce surprise move to Iowa City”
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Cole… I missed out on about $200… I told you it would fucking happen…
bears
I’m all for the Colts… so much so, in fact, that the only beer I am going to drink from now until then is Colt45.
I’m indifferent, and it’s really a win-win here in Iowa City. If the Bears win, this place wil go ballistic cause of all the Illinois people here. If the Colts win, 2 Hawkeyes who are kickin ass in the NFL get their first ring.
bears
i love them so much i will now only go to and support a college that has a bear for a mascot…
p.s colts r trash. we can put in a drunk orton and win.
I was going for the Bears until I saw the way all of the idiot FIB’s in Iowa City acted after the victory. Maybe its just me, but growing up in Iowa there really isn’t any team to cheer for besides the hawkeyes. I suppose depending on what side of the state you live in you might cheer for whoever is closest such as the bears or chiefs, but I just have never gone for that. I would rather see a few ex hawkeyes win the superbowl than the bears just because half of the campus is from chicago.
I was indifferent for a while because I like both teams. I was sort-of brainwashed into liking the Bears because of the SNL skit getting quoted on the hour every hour… but the Colts… I’ve been a supporter since Bob got signed.
I will support any team Bob or Vick get put on… just my loyalty. (I know Dallas has been with the Colts just a year more, and for a white kid, is doing fucking awsome, but he’s just not Bob or Vick yet.)
Haver, if I ever see you again, I’m going to slap you in the mouth… calling the Colts trash… this coming from an Iowa State fan makes me question you judgement in more ways than one. You sure you’re straight? Is your dick stained brown? Is Jenny really Jenny and not Jeremy?
Do you really think that the Colts are trash, or are you just shit talking the opposition? I need to know so I can give you fair warning of the beating I’m going to throw you.
hey man. if u know anything about me and posts i have left in the past on this site u would know i am not an iowa state fan. i have not supported them since i was in high school, but then i moved out of the state for 2 years, went to uni for a year, and moved out of the state again. i just am usually anti hawkeye but not pro anyone else. colts r amazing and if peyton manning played for the bears i would love him, but he is the only colts player i would like on the bears team. so yes i am just shit talking the opposition. colts r amazing but the bears keep the universe in order making the colts seem as though they r trash. during my year at uni we watched the bears lose to the panthers, but afterwards called a superbowl appearance next year. things r working out as planned. furthermore, colts r trash.
Fair enough… you support your team, okay. I guess you shit talking the Colts is providing content and entertainment for the rest of the site’s fans, so, thank you.
Now me shit talking the Bears isn’t something I want to do because I like them. I’m not going to take shots at them because I would like to see them win a Super Bowl in my lifetime… just not this one, or any other bowl against Vick, Bob, Dallas, or Devan — I would rather see a ring on their finger than a Bears Super Bowl win.
So, that being said, watch your back… Jenny might be looking to donkey punch you when she’s done with that ass.
GO COLTS
By Vick, I assume you mean the one with a raging case of herpes that goes by the name of Ron Mexico? The same one that got busted last week in Miami with a water bottle ‘full of a substance closely resembling marijuana’? That Vick?
He’s sort of like Magic Johnson… he no longer has herpes; he’s rich so they cured him. As for the water bottle inciddent… they tested the shit that was hidden in the bottle and found it to not be marijuana. I’m sure it was some high class gange that he got from Castro himself, but none the less, a machine that passed the DEA regulations for drug testing found it to NOT be. And, apparently, Vick is able to pick up his water bottle if he wants.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/graphics/art3/0122071vick1.gif
See what happens when you gotz da money?
Bob, just thought you would appreciate the fact that I’m betting on some world football today… Chelsea fucked me last time I supported them, but I have a feeling about them and Manchester; maybe it’s just gas, we’ll see.
Good picks, but I can’t imagine the odds were that big given the competition-Blackburn and Watford. Still, money is money. And that took some balls with the Chelsea bet, considering all the injuries and turmoil within the organization. Well played. You bettin on the Super Bowl? What website do you use? Colts are favored by 7 and the u/o is 48.5. Unfortunately I’m out of the gamblin game
but if I was betting, I’d take Bears on the spread and under on the 48.5. I’m thinking defenses will rule.
Yeah - I did a 4-team parlay… ended up blowing it because of fucking Bristol City… I’ll just stick to Chelsea for the rest of the year… they shouldn’t lose.
I hit the money on the Bears when it was 210/-250; I checked today and its down to 200/-240. I was going to play the Bears <48.5 but couldn’t decide whether it was going to be a back and forth game, or punt every 7 plays.
That’s right everyone [Haver] I want the Colts to win, but put money on the Bears. The way I look at it, if the Bears win, I made money. If they lose, I still see Bob and Dallas with a ring. It’s a win-win for me.