Half-drunk this morning, I began to browse my friends’ facebook profiles to find some unfortunate comrades from Iowa State to berate about their 24-13 loss to Division 1AA Northern Iowa on Saturday night.

I came across a friend, Mark, who had this under his posted items:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=LVcQeH1ngyc

A new era! Purchase your season tickets now! The Chizik era is beginning!!

Okay, I’m laughing. I can’t lie. I’m laughing already. Out loud, in the library, and people are staring.
Then, I scrolled down to the comments.

Now, I’m crying. Almost in tears. If you can’t read this farmer’s comment, it goes something like this:
“Chizik is gonna own the chokeyes and the big 12 in the very near future. Get ready for a dynasty Cyclone Nation!!! “
The near future? I hope you bastards can do 88, because teaming up with Doc and Marty McFly is the only way you’ll ever get to see ISU have a shot at a national title.

But, let’s look at the positives:

Iowa State has an okay quarterback. (Too bad Cheezdik has him on the bench and have that fag Bret Meyer starting.)

Iowa State has new, improved uniforms. (Too bad “improved,” is a relative term- dog shit looks “improved” once it dries out a little bit)

ISU has a great college football atmosp… Sorry, I can’t stop convulsing while laughing enough to finish that sentence.

Iowa State has a team chaplain to guide them spiritually (This will cut down on the number of suicides on the team after Iowa embarasses them in front of their families on Saturday.)

Billboards are going cheap in central Iowa right now. In fact, Hawkize is considering putting one up outside of Ames- purple and gold on one side, blue and gold on the other.

The Cyclones got votes in the coaches poll this weekend. Unfortunately, it was the 2A Radio Iowa Poll in Iowa High Schools. And they only got four.