MADISON- Department stores around the Madison area elevated the threat level to orange on September 5 when Wisconsin running back Lance Smith was accused of beating his girlfriend and stealing her money and shoes.
“This is a serious offense,” Barry Alvarez, former UW-Madison Head Coach and current Athletic Director said. “We are disappointed in Lance. He should have gotten the hoe’s necklace while he was at it.”
Extra security guards have been hired to patrol the high-heels and Louis Vuitton sections of all major department stores in the Madison area.
“We don’t want to take any chances,” Bob Schmegler, head of security at East Towne Mall in Madison said. “Whenever you’ve got a cross-dressing perv out stealing high heels, you’ve got to tighten the reigns a little bit, you know?”
Smith was suspended for all away games for the 2007 season for the Badgers after the incident.
Police advise patrons of the mall to call police if they see this man carrying any expensive handbags or shoes belonging to women.

“This just makes us even more nervous,” Schmegler said. “Now he’s going to be here during the weekends when he should be gone. I’m really nervous for our mall employees.”
Brett Bielema could not be reached for comment.
A Stanford University study recently released claimed that 96 percent of men who steal womens’ shoes end up being homosexual.