The Capital One Mascot Open
Most of you know Cy won the title of “Most Dominant College Mascot on Earth” not too long ago. CBS Sportsline hosted the previous poll for top mascot, Capital One has it’s own: The Capital One Mascot Open.
Cy barely beat the Spartans in the showdown, getting 56% of the votes. The Ames based Daily Tribune reported recently that some bastard 36 year old freshman took time off from Halo to setup an automatic click/voting solution, cheating their way to a win.
Moving on.
We’ve won other Capital One titles, why not get another? Oh wait… Capital One didn’t give Herky a spot on the roster… AGAIN. WHAT THE FUCK?!
Here is a list of the mascots they’re using:
1. South Carolina: Cocky
They fight more than just dogs round your way?
2. Univ. of Minnesota: Goldy Gopher
”Go-fer-gold! Jeffey likes a-apples!” buck-toothed motherfucker…
3. W. Kentucky: Big Red
Are you a wad of chewed gum, or an undeveloped embryo?
4. VTech: Hokiebird
It’s not turkey season yet, but he’s still gotta keep from getting shot.
5. S. Mississippi: Seymour
AndyRam pointed out they copied our tigerhawk design… unoriginal bastards.
6. Brigham Young: Cosmo
http://cosmocougar.wordpress.com < –$20 this is the gateway to a kiddie porn ring.
7. UCLA: Joe Bruin
”…How bout some ether?”
8. Univ. of Akron: Zippy
Let’s be real… how much can you respect a team with a kangaroo for a mascot?
9. Univ. of Virginia: Cavman
The fourth musketeer that didn’t make it because of the gay cape.
10. Univ. of Georgia: Hairy Dawg
Vick must not have known about this guy… either that or knew he was a pussy.
11. Syracuse: Otto
Didn’t I see you on a BoostMobile commercial?
12. Univ. of Montana: Monte
Just a Smokie the Bear wanna-be. Toke…er, toke it up, man!
If Herky doesn’t catch a spot next year, I’m getting rid of my Capital One card. Maybe I’ll do the cool thing and start an online petition to have the Big Ten mascots duke it out. I’m sure the country would rather see us than some bitch-of-a-team that gets fucked and loses it’s games in a place called “The Rubber Bowl.”
This probably wasn’t a good way to start my day… I’ll be at the Tip Top till game time tomorrow…
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Hey! not to spoil or “love fest” here but I’m pretty sure that Herky will get a spot on the capital one BOWL mascot challenge. But, if he doesn’t get that, heads are gonna roll.
At least Purdue Pete wasn’t on the list!
If Cy gets on the list before Herky… I’m going to shoot Lancelot and Elaine the next time I see them on “Lake LaVerne.” (and what a fine lake it is—–n’t.)
As a former UNI panther and current montana griz id like to invite everyone from hawkize to lick my sweaty brillo pad between my legs. iowa lost to isu, uni beat isu, and montana and uni r ranked #1 and #2 in the nation in football. iowa has sucked for a few years now and thats the end of my comment on a non-frequently visited site. what is iowa proud of this year? other than not being at uni or montana… drrrr… im guessing u guys would rather suck among big schools than be great in a slightly smaller scene. im proud though so suck em boys. my sports life is a happy one. hahaaaaa.
So I guess UNI didn’t offer “Taking a Joke” as a major.
Wipe those tears off, soldier! Your makeup is running!
It’s true montana is undefeated right now, but lets see who they have played: Southern Utah, Ft. Lewis, Albany, Weber St, and Eastern Washington. I’ve never heard of any of those teams, and looking into it further, Ft Lewis is Division II. Come on, I know you aren’t coming on here insinuating that UNI or Montana is better than Iowa.
I’ll admit I don’t have a problem with UNI, I don’t dislike them or like them, mainly because they usually know their place. Everyone at that school knows they have a good team for Div I-AA but will actually admit that the hawkeyes are a much better team and Iowa is a much better University. Plus since its a suitcase school most of the students end up in Iowa City on the weekends anyways.
P.S. UNI and Montana suck because you can’t even bet on their fucking games. Go to hell.
The two toned nature of Nicholas’ comment make me laugh out loud.
…what the fuck are you talking about Eddie? Your tired ass comments of ’suck on deez nuts’ are getting really old. Great, you’re happy for UNI because you were a Panther… I was a car accident away from being one too, but I still think their football team is shit.
Since you’re in Montana, could you do me a favor?– burn it down.
thats weird that u said comments… plural. this is the first time ive been on here in forever my good man. u act like i frequent this place telling everyone to suck em. i dont do that very often. i go in streaks. mainly coming here whenever something bad happens to iowa or something good happens to… anyone else around. or in extreme boredom cases. anyway, im just pointing out that the places i have been r both very good at football this year in their division. so i have a happy football life. u guys have a shitty one. and i pointed out that isu beat iowa and uni beat isu. thats all. haha… take it how u want. no comparison between montana and iowa. look at last year. maybe the game would be more interesting this year though since iowa is much shittier this year and montana has their thug running back, back… from injury. it woulda been cool to see it happen again. why didnt u hurt montana’s punter for his life rather than just one season!!?? i tried out and made the team here but am out of eligibility after this year. if u woulda hurt him then i could be playing right now!! instead i am supposed to wait till winter/spring ball to join the team… fucking pussies cant hurt montana’s punter for his life…
p.s.if i burn this place down then this country will lose like 98% of their liberals!! and 99.9% of the hippies!
soo yeah maybe i will.
p.p.s trashboy is garbage
We’re not going to turn this into a pissing match; it’s not good for the site’s rep… as you’ve already demonstrated.
However, Hawkize DOES get a lot more traffic than you think.
There was an email war started a few weeks ago after Trashboy’s ISU uniform posts– a few meetings were thrown off topic by it as well. The VP had the pictures on the projection screen. They ‘frequent’ the site… like… frequently, d00d.
Haha. I love it when Clones stop by. Our football lives are shitty? That’s funny, because last time I checked our games are actually on television. Mediacom Connections doesn’t count. You may tout your “undefeated” record and nationally respected “Transitive Property Iowa State Title”, but the fact of the matter is so simple… nobody cares about UNI football. It’s a step above high school football, and a baby step above Wartburg and Luther.
But how seriously can we take someone’s opinion that uses ‘r’, and ‘u’?
You getting worked up over E’s post is exactly what we wanted. Come back anytime.