I’m sure it’s been on everyone’s mind: “Where is Andyram?” You guessed it, jail. Not surprised? Fuck you.
He sent me a text message Wednesday saying he was heading in to serve his 6 days from the DUI he got a few months back. (No, not that one, the other one.)
His first text message to me […]

As if the man needs a bigger fan base…

I know you can barely read it (was taken with a camera phone while I was at the bank) but I think it’s funnier than hell that it says, “(there were a few Cyclone fans in the building)”
Move over Carstens
GO HAWKS
——
“That animal” - Andyram’s comment, seconds after […]

Cue music: “Oh what a night,” Frankie Valli
Few times in our lives, we have the opportunity to make history.
For Trashboy and Mikehawk, destiny was Thursday night in a high school football stadium somewhere on the campus of Iowa State University.
Around 4:45 PM, I sat at my computer looking at my regular bookmarks on Mozilla- […]

IOWA CITY- Scheels, Iowa’s largest sports superstore, announced today that both Anthony Bowman and Dominique Douglas jerseys will go on double clearance this morning.
“Well, with the events that have transpired, they aren’t exactly “popular” for our fall lineup,” Store Manager Jim Elbert said Friday morning. “We tend to sell players that are going to, you […]

This morning, the city council of Chicago determined that they will rename the city to “Iowa City” on September 1st on occasion of the Iowa-Northern Illinois football game at Soldier Field.
“It just makes sense.” says Chicago mayor Richard Daley. “Financially, and convenience-wise. The process is rather simple. We will just be swapping the road signs […]

Horrible news, fellow Hawkize. Our all-Big 10 freshman team wideout has been suspended indefinitely due to pending charges of credit card theft. The charges on Bowman have been released and reportedly state that the theft was under $10,000. Nothing has been put out for Douglas (yet).
One can not think that this is horrifying news. But […]

Think of all the great Hawkeyes who we have been blessed to watch as Iowa fans… Bob Sanders, Chuck Long, Dallas Clark, Robert Gallery, Matt Roth, Abdul Hodge, Chad Greenway, Fred Russell, Dean Oliver, Jeff Horner, Greg Brunner, the list goes on and on…
Who tops the list out of all these greats?

Chris “Motherfucking” Kingsbury.
This man […]

If some things looked weird to you in the past couple of days, namely the look and content of the entire site disappearing, it’s because Hawkize changed web hosts this week. It seems that everything went well, so the site should basically be back to normal now. Our apologies go out to those […]

Continuing my hatred for not only the state of Ohio but also Ohio State, I have begun bastardizing the Buckeyes. A lot of people who know me beyond ‘Sigma’ think I am so pro-Hawkeye that I am anti-anything (and frankly, everything) that opposes them… this is true, and also a real life example of being […]

Last year, I posted a drunken rhyme about my hate for ISU and my thoughts on the upcoming game… This year I figured since I LIVE in Ames (I’m truely sorry Hawk fans) and have to put up with their shit day-in and day-out, that I am more than entitled to flip shit back, so […]

The setting is October 4th, 1923: Iowa State’s football team is getting ready to load the bus for a trip to Minneapolis for their football game. The bus breaks down due to poor maintenance. Iowa State never makes it to the game and Jack Trice never dies.
College
After about a year and a month of majoring […]

The Hawkize engineering team is proud to announce the launch of the Hawkize 2.0 beta on this fine Tuesday.  After many hours of work, we’ve finally got something that’s worth showing to the public.  Aside from a little aesthetic boost, there are a few new features and changes that you should know about:
My Hawkize
In order to […]

Well folks, it’s that time of year again:the time where I stay up late watching the clock, sitting with an economy-sized bottle of Johnson&Johnson and my magazine in bed. My hair starts to stand up on end, and as it gets closer to midnight, I get into my car and start driving to try and […]

If you didn’t hear, ISU athletics has announced that they plan to revamp their athletic facilities with multi-million dollar facelifts to the Jack Trice Stadium and Hilton Coliseum areas. The renovation will cost millions of dollars and won’t be completed until 2010- something Hawkize.com sees fitting, as this is the same year that Troy […]

Hey, Jamie Pollard:
We saw that you think you’re a bad ass by putting up a gay little billboard in Cedar Rapids, just up the road from God’s city, that reads that you beat Iowa in the Cy-Hawk Grocery Store Series of 2005. This little fruity billboard, Hawkize fans, looks something like this:

Well, guess what: Fuck […]