Andyram: “Well im off to jail. Wooo”
I’m sure it’s been on everyone’s mind: “Where is Andyram?” You guessed it, jail. Not surprised? Fuck you.
He sent me a text message Wednesday saying he was heading in to serve his 6 days from the DUI he got a few months back. (No, not that one, the other one.)
His first text message to me said “Well im off to jail. Wooo” I messaged him back immediately with “[Fuck.] I thought that was thursday”. Minutes later he replied, “Nope write an article let my fans know where im at”
I’m sure he would appreciate some love, so…
Andrew “Andyram” Hartman
c/o Story County Sheriff’s Dept.
1315 South B Avenue
Nevada, IA 50201
If you can’t afford gas, or a stamp, leave him a message after the tone. [tone]
Super Bowl XLII
Leave it to a Cyclone to fuck up a Super Bowl win.
I’d actually like to THANK Ellis Hobbs for doing that though… He made me $215, betting on the Giants straight up.
THANKS ELLIS - Keep fucking up and make ISU proud!
Devan Moylan Fans
As if the man needs a bigger fan base…
I know you can barely read it (was taken with a camera phone while I was at the bank) but I think it’s funnier than hell that it says, “(there were a few Cyclone fans in the building)”
Move over Carstens
GO HAWKS
——
“That animal” - Andyram’s comment, seconds after receiving pix msg
Bob Sanders
is better than you
Reily Reiff…
I’m sorry for making fun of you.
Hey Erin Buzuvis..
Fuck off already.
Hey, Riley Reiff..
Good call on decommitting and going to Nebraska.
The wheels are coming off in Lincoln- I hope your father’s construction company gets the bid to rebuild the entire program, not just some facilities!
ON IOWA. GO HAWKS!
The Capital One Mascot Open
Most of you know Cy won the title of “Most Dominant College Mascot on Earth” not too long ago. CBS Sportsline hosted the previous poll for top mascot, Capital One has it’s own: The Capital One Mascot Open.
Cy barely beat the Spartans in the showdown, getting 56% of the votes. The Ames based Daily Tribune reported recently that some bastard 36 year old freshman took time off from Halo to setup an automatic click/voting solution, cheating their way to a win.
Moving on.
We’ve won other Capital One titles, why not get another? Oh wait… Capital One didn’t give Herky a spot on the roster… AGAIN. WHAT THE FUCK?!
Here is a list of the mascots they’re using:
1. South Carolina: Cocky
They fight more than just dogs round your way?
2. Univ. of Minnesota: Goldy Gopher
”Go-fer-gold! Jeffey likes a-apples!” buck-toothed motherfucker…
3. W. Kentucky: Big Red
Are you a wad of chewed gum, or an undeveloped embryo?
4. VTech: Hokiebird
It’s not turkey season yet, but he’s still gotta keep from getting shot.
5. S. Mississippi: Seymour
AndyRam pointed out they copied our tigerhawk design… unoriginal bastards.
6. Brigham Young: Cosmo
http://cosmocougar.wordpress.com < –$20 this is the gateway to a kiddie porn ring.
7. UCLA: Joe Bruin
”…How bout some ether?”
8. Univ. of Akron: Zippy
Let’s be real… how much can you respect a team with a kangaroo for a mascot?
9. Univ. of Virginia: Cavman
The fourth musketeer that didn’t make it because of the gay cape.
10. Univ. of Georgia: Hairy Dawg
Vick must not have known about this guy… either that or knew he was a pussy.
11. Syracuse: Otto
Didn’t I see you on a BoostMobile commercial?
12. Univ. of Montana: Monte
Just a Smokie the Bear wanna-be. Toke…er, toke it up, man!
If Herky doesn’t catch a spot next year, I’m getting rid of my Capital One card. Maybe I’ll do the cool thing and start an online petition to have the Big Ten mascots duke it out. I’m sure the country would rather see us than some bitch-of-a-team that gets fucked and loses it’s games in a place called “The Rubber Bowl.”
This probably wasn’t a good way to start my day… I’ll be at the Tip Top till game time tomorrow…
Andyram is pissed!
Andyram is extremely angry!
Why you fine readers of Hawkize ask? What could make Andyram so angry that he decides to post now? The ISU loss? No, we aren’t ready to talk about that one.. The Wisky and Indiana losses? No, we will get to those later..
Is it because Andyram won 300 bucks on sportsbook.com this weekend? No, actually, I’m happy about that one!
Could it be that they don’t sell Miller Lite in Wrigley? Nope, they still have Old Style..
Well.. Then what pissed Andyram off?
Okay, here’s the story.. im at a bar, with ed, and a tv (which don’t lie) tells me that the NFL, thee NFL outlawed something that hit me very dear to the heart..
They…….. They.. They outlawed cheerleaders stretching in front of the visiting team!!! 
:( I mean c’mon..
p.s. coach hep is rotting in hell, probably 69ing Bo S. … indiana sucks and i have no sympothy for the dead as you all already know.. I hope Dan McCarney dies soon too, cuz we all know he will be having gay love with Enis Haywood in hell..
Just when you thought ISU couldn’t get any more pathetic…
They go and pull a stunt like this one:
If I’m not mistaken… these unis are a dead ringer for the USC ones. I don’t know which I like better… ugly ass Iowa State uniforms that they’ve had the last 15 years, or an impostor national powerhouse. Not to mention that the new logo looks like it was made from clip art in Microsoft Word.
Hail Jamie Pollard!
No matter what this guy’s shirt says, he is not the World’s Greatest Dad.
Although, maybe it was a good idea to save the poor girl from falling into the trap hole in life that is Michigan fandom.
Kinnick Stadium on “Fields of Glory”
Don’t know how many of you may have seen this, it was on INHD a few months back featuring Brent Musburger.
TC Panther can suck my cock.
Ask me about things I hate.
1) Jamie Pollard
2) UNI
3) ISU
4) Spiders
5) Papercuts
Upon the preposterous loss to little brother last Saturday, I was informed that TC Panther (The Northern Iowa mascot) made his Facebook status: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Iowa!”
Of course I was offended like he had just poked my mother in the eye. I immediately add him to Facebook, and this wall postathon ensues:
Billy Freeman (Iowa) wrote
at 12:11pm on September 20th, 2007
Good to see UNI got some national exposure on ESPNU on the bottom line the other day. Should help recruiting!!
TC Panther (UNI) wrote
at 12:52pm on September 20th, 2007
Glad to see Iowa play well this past weekend! Should help them recruit more players like Douglas!
Billy Freeman (Iowa) wrote
at 3:53pm on September 20th, 2007
Very nice, TC. Congratulations on your victory over… Mankato State(?)… whatever that is? Also, good luck against Youngstown State. Also, what the hell is a Youngstown St.? Is it a kind of popsicle?
What televised bowl game will you guys be in this year?
TC Panther (UNI) wrote
at 6:16pm on September 20th, 2007
I think we’ll be in the “National Championship” bowl. Tough concept for an Iowa fan, I know. Congrats on your win over Syracuse AND Northern Illinois, both of whom are in this week’s edition of the ESPN Bottom 10, a list of the 10 worst teams in major college football. Very nice.
Billy Freeman (Iowa) wrote
at 6:35pm on September 20th, 2007
Valid point. Our wins sucked. Absolutely. However… I’m just glad that Iowa Football is actually relevant to people outside of Iowa! It’s awesome!
TC Panther (UNI) wrote
at 9:36am
I’m sure the out of state fans are impressed with last year’s 6-7 record, and this year’s loss to ISU (who also resided in the ESPN Bottom 10 until the win over Iowa).
Billy Freeman (Iowa) wrote
at 9:49am
Good point. However I would like to play a game with you. It’s called NAME THAT NATIONAL CHAMPION!
2003 Orange Bowl - USC
2004 Outback Bowl - Florida
2005 Capital One Bowl - LSU
2006 Outback Bowl - Florida
2007 Alamo Bowl - Texas
What do all these teams have in common? Pretty easy. They have all won a national title in the last 5 years.
Who did Northern Iowa play in the last 5 years in bowl games? What is an Appalachian State anyway? Anyway, have a good morning, little brother!!!
TC Panther (UNI) wrote
at 2:05pm
Not bad, but Iowa played them in the national championship, right? Oh wait… They didn’t? Ouch. Keep touting Drew Tate for Heisman, and I’ll enjoy my 3-0 start, number 4 national ranking, and 22 less scholarships than you. Oh yeah, and we beat Iowa State. In Ames. By 11. Ouch.
Billy Freeman (Iowa) wrote
at 2:08pm
You forgot the most important part about your wall post…
Your “national championship” games are NOT relevant.
TC Panther (UNI) wrote
at 2:09pm
As are your wins this year. (0-3, 0-3).
Or maybe you’d like to talk about the most recent big-time sport that we’ve played in? Let me remind you…
“Freeman for three AT THE BUZZER!!!!”
CLANK.
Billy Freeman (Iowa) wrote
at 2:43pm
TC, we’re talking about football.
I’m watching College Football Live on ESPN… they just spent a 5 minute segment previewing the UW-UI football game tomorrow. Still waiting for the UNI segment…
Relevance.
TC Panther (UNI) wrote
at 8:02pm
If you’d like to chat about college football, how about our common opponents? On the same field… You got beat…. By… FIVE… Field goals. No, you didn’t lose by a score of 15… But you got beat… by a team… that kicked… 5 field goals…
Billy, is that the same team that we beat a week earlier? Bret Meyer…. Todd Blythe… Ben Barkema….
Just to reiterate… UNI 24… ISU 13…..
ISU 15… UI.. 14…
Both in Ames….
Did you really just get owned that bad… by a guy in a furry suit????? Who roots for a team that wears purple???? Siiiiiiiiick.
Billy Freeman (Iowa) wrote
at 8:16pm
TC…TC… You’re just missing the point. You guys can continue to rout powerhouses such as Southern Illinois
and Indiana State. It just doesn’t matter to anybody.
Let me set the scene for you. September 14, 2002… Iowa loses to Iowa State AT Kinnick! Man, that game was crazy! Iowa wins out, wins the Big Ten (you may have heard of it) bringing down Michigan, Wisconsin, Penn State, Purdue, Minnesota… come on.
When it comes down to it, I don’t know if I really have a “problem” with UNI football. I think it’s great you guys have a team and everything (with uniforms, too!) but when your fans try to appear “holier than thou” just because you beat ISU (seriously, lets cut the crap and make it clear that parity does not exist in college football) you are better than Iowa? It’s sad. The only POR that you have is this:
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/boxscore?gameId=252602294
A route in Iowa City. Not to mention the 2nd string played the entire 4th quarter for the Hawks that game.
Search
